I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
