you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
