And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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