wanna go halves on a baby?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
