you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
