So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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