oh god the rape fog is back!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
