Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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