is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize