they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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