Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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