I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
