I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she pinky promised me she was 18
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
