I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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