he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
