dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize