he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
