When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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