He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize