It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
