Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
