anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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