I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
