just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
as a side note pls kill me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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