Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
should my penis look like a turkey
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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