yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
