Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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