I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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