You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
