I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
