im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
