garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
