Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
