Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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