OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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