sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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