so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
