Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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