Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
