I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
