if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm at about main and main street
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
