The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
