You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
