if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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