cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
how drunk are you?
Several
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
