I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
