Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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