im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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