Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
