I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
