Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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