White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
