office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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