his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
