Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
