where am i from again
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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