i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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