I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
