Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
