The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
should my penis look like a turkey
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
