Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
