Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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