dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
