I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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