So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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