so explain again why im purple
no
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
