this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
