She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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