I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
