I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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