yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize