She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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