i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Randomize