She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
